chuunin_archive | Orochimaru and the Booby Stone!

Crack for j00 all. Don't kill me for it. This was originally gonna be a two paragraph thing about Orochimaru being... Man, I don't even know anymore XD

Orochimaru and the Booby Stone
Summary: A completely random ~~sex filled~~ FMA/Naruto crossover. Not much more can be said.
Spoilers: FMA anime spoilers and Naruto spoilers concerning Orochimaru.
Rating: R rated, absolutely NOTHING graphic.
Pairings: Orochimaru x Many Women (:o)
Warnings: Cracky. OOC. (or is it? :o)

Once upon a time there was a guy named Orochimaru. He was cool, but a lot of really really stupid people, DAMN THEIR FOOLISH STUPIDITY!, thought he was a pedophile. And then those people died. They died horrible, painful deaths, so gory, it made soldiers cry for their mommies and wish to watch Barney. But they deserved it.

One day, he saw a hot woman. Now, if there's something Orochimaru is weak to, it's boobs. So Orochiamru followed the hot woman, but then he lost her. Depressed, he went to his old town and did a hot woman with huge boobs named Tsunade. Then he left and she swore never to let another man touch her boobs again, unless they had a son, but that'd only be when he was a baby.

Orochimaru continued on his path, his goal to find a few hot women and bring them home for an orgy and to start a clan of straight men and lesbians, because he'd be damned if he'd be related to anyone that did men.

One day, he saw the hot woman from before making out with another hot woman. So, Orochimaru licked his lips with his patented "Orochimaru's Gift to Women Sex Tongue" (TM) and they swooned. They then told him that they were not actually alive, but they were undead homunculi and they needed the Philosophers Stone in order to be human.

Since Orochimaru, of course, was the master of being immortal, cause he's a l337 N1NJ4 and all, he decided he'd turn these two hot women into humans, teach them how to be immortal, and go home and have his orgy with Tsunade, these two hot women, and some random nurses that worked for her. Of course, he could wait for his orgy, since the two hot women, who's names were Lust and Sloth, were glad to give Orochimaru hot threesomes.

Thus, Orochimaru began his search for this so called Philosopher's Stone. Seeing as he'd be getting many hot women, and he liked boobs, when he found it, Orochimaru from then on called the Philosopher's Stone the "Booby Stone."

One day, bigger boobed hot woman Lust told Orochimaru of two people, called the "elricks," and that the suit of armor that followed the midget was actually, in fact, the almighty BOOBY STONE!

Orochimaru told smaller boobed but better ass (in his oppinion, cause Lust couldn't have both) hot woman Sloth to go manipulate the armor and the midget to come to him. They did, because even though she was sort of their mommy, she wasn't, so of course, they followed her almighty sexiness hoping to get some. Instead, the midget died and the armor was used to turn the two hot women into human.

The poor suit of armor watched in shock and jealousy as Orochimaru and the two hot no-longer-homunculi had a hot threesome right there in front of him.

When Orochimaru, big boobed hot woman Lust and smaller boobed but better ass woman Sloth were done, they took the armor AKA The Almighty Booby Stone back home. However, they were met against a crossdresser named Envy, who was envious that Orochimaru got the two hot women that used to be his. Orochimaru sympathized with the crossdresser and bought him his own brothel, and all the women in it. Envy was forever in Orochimaru's debt, and then the trio continued their way home.

They then came across a woman with not as nice boobs as Lust and not as nice ass as Sloth named Dante. Dante said that she wanted the Booby Stone to make herself immortal and blah blah blah, body switching, blah blah blah. Orochimaru told her he knew how to be immortal without the soul attatchment problem, and she immediately joined Lust and Sloth in Orochimaru's growing harem.

Pleased that he had three new hot women, though one of which was far not as hot as the other two, Orochimaru continued home.

And then he came to Karakura town...

END

Or is it?