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[sevetenks.livejournal.com]

If this isn't allowed, forgive me.

I did the Insant Slash Generator

... This is the funniest crack I've ever read.

Characters/Pairings: Sai x Gaara, mentions of Naruto, Yamato, Chiyobaasama, and Sasori
Genre: CRACKTASTIC
Spoilers: None.
Ratings: R rated for sex. X.X



The darkness was all around as Sai walked through Forest of Death down towards his The Akatsuki Base, random thoughts of oral crossing his mind.

He had been shocked earlier when Chiyobaasama had told him she often dreamed about Yamato involved in having sex with a slug , but each to their own, she didn't know about his fantasies involving Gaara .

One day he would discuss his feelings with Naruto, but not yet, he still hardly believed how aroused he could be by just thinking of Gaara masturbating himself with a whip.

The night air was fresh and he sat down in a quiet location and began to stroke the knife he was carrying with him. Would Gaara's elbow feel like that to his finger?

What would Gaara think of him if he knew how his cock grew hard as he thought of eating cheese off Gaara's beautiful ear?

Sai rubbed the knife against his elbow whispering Gaara's name to himself. He knew he should stop and wait until he got back to his The Akatsuki Base but desire overtook him and he came, screaming Gaara's name into the night.

Meanwhile, Gaara had not been able to sleep and had decided to go out in the night air. Forest of Death was such a beautiful place at this time of the night. He took a bite of the cheese he was carrying and leisurely scratched his elbow.

He jumped in alarm as he heard a voice in the distance. Was that Sai calling his name. He must be in trouble to shout for him with such desperation. He dropped his cheese and ran towards the sound of his shinobikins's voice.

Gaara stumbled through the darkness towards Sai. Panicked thoughts ran through his head. Was his shinobikins being attacked by a slug. Was he about to be raped by Sasori dressed as Yamato? His heart beat faster and he felt the pulse throbbing in his finger.

Sai, Sai, my shinobikins, screamed Gaara. It's alright, I'm coming, I'll save you! Sai leaped to his feet in panic, dropping the knife and trying to untangle his trousers from around his ankles. He fell over, his bare ear pointing in the air.

Gaara! Sai gasped embarrassedly. What are you doing here? Naruto said you were in your The Akatsuki Base engaged in some oral with Chiyobaasama.

No, I was alone in my The Akatsuki Base with nothing but my whip for company. I couldn't sleep for thinking how beautiful your ear was, and how I would like to stroke my elbow against it, and have you kiss my finger, and now I see your ear for myself I realise that not even Yamato has a ear to compare with yours.

Oh, shinobikins, Naruto said you felt that way but I never believed him, I thought you loved Chiyobaasama.

What! That old slug, I'd rather get involved in having sex with Sasori, a knife and cheese than dream of oral with her, Ooh, the very thought makes my finger curl.

Oh, Sai!

Oh, Gaara, my shinobikins!

Cue soft music, sounds of oral and having sex, soft focus and fade.........