chuunin_archive | SASUKE: THE MUSICAL

Inspired by this brilliant piece of crack

We begin with the Introductory song, in which Orochimaru, Kabuto and Gen'yumaru tell us of Sasuke's life and Sasuke's waking up scene, in which he angsts over his family and Kisame, Itachi, Naruto and Sai narrate through music.
All things in italics are stage directions (or in Itachi's case little WTF noises...)

Intro: Sasuke (Jacqueline – Franz Ferdinand)
Sasuke is standing in the middle of the stage, Orochimaru to the left, spotlight is bright on Oro, dimmer on Sasuke.
Orochimaru: (Emotionally)
Sasuke was an emo boy
Working like genin
Although he
Could have been elite ninja (Massive, dramatic arm sweep)
But he betrayed his country
Sharingan eyes (Sasuke activates Sharingan, spotlight brightens on him)
Forget the face they're peering from
When the face they peer upon
Is that guy’s (Enter Naruto)
Oh, his face is the
Reason the emo boy went back to
Konohagakure and took
The punishment they gave.

Kabuto: (Dancing)
It's always better as a bad guy
So much better as a bad guy
Because we only kill when
We need the power

It's always better as a bad guy
So much better as a bad guy
Because we only kill when
We need the power

Gen'yumaru:
Naruto tops the boy
And all of us watch the show
Sasuke’s so drunk
Even Orochimaru
Could get into it
Oh, with them
With them
With them
And how we know it
But for sex and for freedom
He could die

All Three: (Dancing)
It's always better as a bad guy
So much better as a bad guy
Because we only kill when
We need the power

It's always better as a bad guy
So much better as a bad guy
Because we only kill when
We need the power.

Waking Up: Obligatory Morning Angst (Waking Up – Shadow the Hedgehog game)
Kisame:
Waking up, breaking down
All because of Itachi
Rip him up, tear him down
But he’s not origami (Itachi: o_O WTF?)

Itachi:
Coming home from your ninja schooling
Dreaming of a hitai-ate
You don’t expect the emo trigger, (Sasuke whines and is very emo)
Your entire family dead

Kisame:
Waking up, breaking down
All because of Itachi
Rip him up, tear him down
But he’s not origami

Waking up, breaking down
All because of Itachi
Rip him up, tear him down
But he’s not origami (Itachi: o_o Srsly dude...)

Naruto:
You were the popular guy at school
Getting all the girls after you (Sasuke fanclub swoon)
Now you’re on my team and still brooding (Sasuke broods)
But every life I touch, I change (Scoffs from fanclub)

Sai:
But it’s always for the worst (Naruto glares)
Naruto baka, Sasuke is just fine (Purrs at Sasuke)
And I think I would know
Because I’m in his fanclub (Sai and Naruto begin to fight)

Kisame: (Ignoring fight)
Waking up, breaking down
All because of Itachi
Rip him up, tear him down
But he’s not origami

Waking up, breaking down
All because of Itachi
Rip him up, tear him down
But he’s not origami

Waking up, breaking down
All because of Itachi
Rip him up, tear him down
But he’s not origami (Itachi: *headfloor*)