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Mar. 31st, 2006 02:16 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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chuunin_archiveIf this isn't allowed, forgive me.
I did the Insant Slash Generator
... This is the funniest crack I've ever read.
Characters/Pairings: Sai x Gaara, mentions of Naruto, Yamato, Chiyobaasama, and Sasori
Genre: CRACKTASTIC
Spoilers: None.
Ratings: R rated for sex. X.X
The darkness was all around as Sai walked through Forest of Death down towards his The Akatsuki Base, random thoughts of oral crossing his mind.
He had been shocked earlier when Chiyobaasama had told him she often dreamed about Yamato involved in having sex with a slug , but each to their own, she didn't know about his fantasies involving Gaara .
One day he would discuss his feelings with Naruto, but not yet, he still hardly believed how aroused he could be by just thinking of Gaara masturbating himself with a whip.
The night air was fresh and he sat down in a quiet location and began to stroke the knife he was carrying with him. Would Gaara's elbow feel like that to his finger?
What would Gaara think of him if he knew how his cock grew hard as he thought of eating cheese off Gaara's beautiful ear?
Sai rubbed the knife against his elbow whispering Gaara's name to himself. He knew he should stop and wait until he got back to his The Akatsuki Base but desire overtook him and he came, screaming Gaara's name into the night.
Meanwhile, Gaara had not been able to sleep and had decided to go out in the night air. Forest of Death was such a beautiful place at this time of the night. He took a bite of the cheese he was carrying and leisurely scratched his elbow.
He jumped in alarm as he heard a voice in the distance. Was that Sai calling his name. He must be in trouble to shout for him with such desperation. He dropped his cheese and ran towards the sound of his shinobikins's voice.
Gaara stumbled through the darkness towards Sai. Panicked thoughts ran through his head. Was his shinobikins being attacked by a slug. Was he about to be raped by Sasori dressed as Yamato? His heart beat faster and he felt the pulse throbbing in his finger.
Sai, Sai, my shinobikins, screamed Gaara. It's alright, I'm coming, I'll save you! Sai leaped to his feet in panic, dropping the knife and trying to untangle his trousers from around his ankles. He fell over, his bare ear pointing in the air.
Gaara! Sai gasped embarrassedly. What are you doing here? Naruto said you were in your The Akatsuki Base engaged in some oral with Chiyobaasama.
No, I was alone in my The Akatsuki Base with nothing but my whip for company. I couldn't sleep for thinking how beautiful your ear was, and how I would like to stroke my elbow against it, and have you kiss my finger, and now I see your ear for myself I realise that not even Yamato has a ear to compare with yours.
Oh, shinobikins, Naruto said you felt that way but I never believed him, I thought you loved Chiyobaasama.
What! That old slug, I'd rather get involved in having sex with Sasori, a knife and cheese than dream of oral with her, Ooh, the very thought makes my finger curl.
Oh, Sai!
Oh, Gaara, my shinobikins!
Cue soft music, sounds of oral and having sex, soft focus and fade.........
I did the Insant Slash Generator
... This is the funniest crack I've ever read.
Characters/Pairings: Sai x Gaara, mentions of Naruto, Yamato, Chiyobaasama, and Sasori
Genre: CRACKTASTIC
Spoilers: None.
Ratings: R rated for sex. X.X
The darkness was all around as Sai walked through Forest of Death down towards his The Akatsuki Base, random thoughts of oral crossing his mind.
He had been shocked earlier when Chiyobaasama had told him she often dreamed about Yamato involved in having sex with a slug , but each to their own, she didn't know about his fantasies involving Gaara .
One day he would discuss his feelings with Naruto, but not yet, he still hardly believed how aroused he could be by just thinking of Gaara masturbating himself with a whip.
The night air was fresh and he sat down in a quiet location and began to stroke the knife he was carrying with him. Would Gaara's elbow feel like that to his finger?
What would Gaara think of him if he knew how his cock grew hard as he thought of eating cheese off Gaara's beautiful ear?
Sai rubbed the knife against his elbow whispering Gaara's name to himself. He knew he should stop and wait until he got back to his The Akatsuki Base but desire overtook him and he came, screaming Gaara's name into the night.
Meanwhile, Gaara had not been able to sleep and had decided to go out in the night air. Forest of Death was such a beautiful place at this time of the night. He took a bite of the cheese he was carrying and leisurely scratched his elbow.
He jumped in alarm as he heard a voice in the distance. Was that Sai calling his name. He must be in trouble to shout for him with such desperation. He dropped his cheese and ran towards the sound of his shinobikins's voice.
Gaara stumbled through the darkness towards Sai. Panicked thoughts ran through his head. Was his shinobikins being attacked by a slug. Was he about to be raped by Sasori dressed as Yamato? His heart beat faster and he felt the pulse throbbing in his finger.
Sai, Sai, my shinobikins, screamed Gaara. It's alright, I'm coming, I'll save you! Sai leaped to his feet in panic, dropping the knife and trying to untangle his trousers from around his ankles. He fell over, his bare ear pointing in the air.
Gaara! Sai gasped embarrassedly. What are you doing here? Naruto said you were in your The Akatsuki Base engaged in some oral with Chiyobaasama.
No, I was alone in my The Akatsuki Base with nothing but my whip for company. I couldn't sleep for thinking how beautiful your ear was, and how I would like to stroke my elbow against it, and have you kiss my finger, and now I see your ear for myself I realise that not even Yamato has a ear to compare with yours.
Oh, shinobikins, Naruto said you felt that way but I never believed him, I thought you loved Chiyobaasama.
What! That old slug, I'd rather get involved in having sex with Sasori, a knife and cheese than dream of oral with her, Ooh, the very thought makes my finger curl.
Oh, Sai!
Oh, Gaara, my shinobikins!
Cue soft music, sounds of oral and having sex, soft focus and fade.........
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no subject
Date: 2006-03-31 08:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-31 10:12 am (UTC)SaixGaara is... interesting... That's for sure... and... poor cheese DD: No love for the neglected cheese...
~Lyn
no subject
Date: 2006-03-31 10:22 am (UTC)He had been shocked earlier when Chiyo had told him she often dreamed about Tsunade involved in threesome with a Macock , but each to their own, she didn't know about his fantasies involving Sasuke .
One day he would discuss his feelings with Sai, but not yet, he still hardly believed how aroused he could be by just thinking of Sasuke masturbating himself with a Vasoline.
The night air was fresh and he sat down in a quiet location and began to stroke the Flower Pot he was carrying with him. Would Sasuke's Penis feel like that to his Right ear lobe?
What would Sasuke think of him if he knew how his cock grew hard as he thought of eating teriyaki meatballs off Sasuke's beautiful third nipple?
Gaara rubbed the Flower Pot against his Penis whispering Sasuke's name to himself. He knew he should stop and wait until he got back to his tent of desire but desire overtook him and he came, screaming Sasuke's name into the night.
Meanwhile, Sasuke had not been able to sleep and had decided to go out in the night air. Sunagakure was such a beautiful place at this time of the night. He took a bite of the teriyaki meatballs he was carrying and leisurely scratched his Penis.
He jumped in alarm as he heard a voice in the distance. Was that Gaara calling his name. He must be in trouble to shout for him with such desperation. He dropped his teriyaki meatballs and ran towards the sound of his cheekbutt's voice.
Sasuke stumbled through the darkness towards Gaara. Panicked thoughts ran through his head. Was his cheekbutt being attacked by a Macock. Was he about to be raped by Itachi dressed as Tsunade? His heart beat faster and he felt the pulse throbbing in his Right ear lobe.
Gaara, Gaara, my cheekbutt, screamed Sasuke. It's alright, I'm coming, I'll save you! Gaara leaped to his feet in panic, dropping the Flower Pot and trying to untangle his trousers from around his ankles. He fell over, his bare third nipple pointing in the air.
Sasuke! Gaara gasped embarrassedly. What are you doing here? Sai said you were in your tent of desire engaged in some homosexuality with Chiyo.
No, I was alone in my tent of desire with nothing but my Vasoline for company. I couldn't sleep for thinking how beautiful your third nipple was, and how I would like to stroke my Penis against it, and have you kiss my Right ear lobe, and now I see your third nipple for myself I realise that not even Tsunade has a third nipple to compare with yours.
Oh, cheekbutt, Sai said you felt that way but I never believed him, I thought you loved Chiyo.
What! That old Macock, I'd rather get involved in threesome with Itachi, a Flower Pot and teriyaki meatballs than dream of homosexuality with her, Ooh, the very thought makes my Right ear lobe curl.
Oh, Gaara!
Oh, Sasuke, my cheekbutt!
Cue soft music, sounds of homosexuality and threesome, soft focus and fade.........
no subject
Date: 2006-03-31 12:46 pm (UTC)What would Sai think of him if he knew how his cock grew hard as he thought of eating ramen off Sai's beautiful hips?
You know, that's actually kinda hot... >;D
no subject
Date: 2006-04-01 02:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-01 11:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-04 01:35 pm (UTC)