chuunin_archive | Fetishes and Observation

This is all

macey_muse's fault! Well, in part...the other goes to the post that brought about the icon and thus prompted

macey_muse to say that it needs to be written. XD Then my muses went on a crack high again (I still swear that I could supply every drug addict in England with crack for the rest of their lives...)
Crossposted to

naruto100.

Title: Fetishes and Observation
Summary: Itachi and Kisame are chasing a biju that's went to Disneyland. And who knew Itachi had such a weird fetish? [KisaItaDumbo crackfic]
Author: Your Local Crack Goddess,

csc_lupisstone!
Characters: Uchiha Itachi, Hoshigaki Kisame, Dumbo.
Rating: Uhh...let's go with R/NC-17
Word Count: 428
Notes: Uhhh...crack based on this post. Ah, also, I have never been to Disneyland so anything incorrect...blame that. LADEN with double entendres...*snicker*

“Remind me again why we’re here...” Itachi drawled as he and Kisame entered the gates at Disneyland.

“Leader-sama wishes for us to collect this biju instead of Kyubi.” Kisame replied, grinning toothily at some of the people there and laughing when they ran off. Itachi rolled his eyes at the shark-man who was indulging in terror sports.

“What are you, five? Now let’s go, there’s a good spot for observing over there.” The Sharingan user pointed to a spinning ride with elephant seats where families were boarding. Kisame looked dubiously at his partner but followed him to it anyway. He wondered why Itachi seemed to be focused on the elephant ride when they could ride the train, even if it was spurting out ‘I think I can, I think I can’ in a rather annoying manner, the queues were smaller.

***

Kisame watched Itachi curiously as the Uchiha struggled to sit down on the ride. They took a grip on the handles that controlled the height of the ride and jerked it to maximum height. Kisame’s hand brushed against Itachi’s crotch carelessly and he had to suppress a smirk at what he felt. Oh you have got to be kidding me... He’d known the man was weird, even by Akatsuki standards, but getting a hard-on from a cartoon elephant was something the Kiri missing-nin had never heard of. Kisame let the smirk slide onto his face as devilish thoughts entered his head. He moved his hand to the elephant’s other control stick, which Itachi was currently gripping tightly.

“Mine is broken.” He mentioned simply, looking at Itachi’s expressionless face which was gazing at him as curiously as the stoic man could. To demonstrate he jiggled the handle up and down, feigning an expression of mild shock when the elephant moved sharply, his hand moving from the elephant’s stick to Itachi’s, gripping it firmly. He felt the younger man stiffen slightly beside him. When he caressed the hardened youth teasingly he knew he’d struck gold by the deeper inhalation.

“Kisame...what are you doing?” Itachi asked threateningly as he struggled to keep control of himself. Kisame ignored his partner’s unsaid threat and continued to play with the younger man. Itachi grabbed tightly to the elephant’s control stick as he was touched. Kisame’s hand moved away abruptly as the ride started to descend and Itachi looked apathetically annoyed. His problem had almost disappeared!

“I need to go to the bathroom to relieve myself.” He told the shark-like man as they stepped off the ride.

“Would you like me to help you Itachi-san?”