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Aug. 23rd, 2008 12:41 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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chuunin_archiveA FAN FIC:
SASUKE AND NARUTO SWITCH BODIES, NARUTO MARVELS AT HOW MUCH HARDER SASUKE'S ABDOMINAL MUSCLES ARE AND REJOICES AT THE FACT THAT HE IS FINALLY IN AN ATTRACTIVE BODY!! No jk, but they do switch bodies. Chapter 1, PG. Sexygetsu and others make appearances. ;]
Naruto yawned loudly as he stretched, blinking into the sunlight that streamed through his open window. Rubbing at his eyes blearily, he forced his body out of bed and began to stumble towards the bathroom. Throwing a sleepy glance around the room, he stopped in his tracks at the sight that greeted him.
There, standing in the doorway and looking at him with an equally shocked expression, was none other than Uchiha Sasuke.
Naruto blinked several times, convinced he was still dreaming. And yet... three, four, five seconds passed and Sasuke was still standing in front of him.
“Sasuke?” Naruto finally whispered, his heart hammering in his chest. He took a tentative step forward at the same moment that Sasuke took a similarly hesitant step towards him. They both let out nervous laughs, exchanging sheepish grins. And just like that, the awkward tension disappeared. Abandoning all pretense of restraint, Naruto launched himself at the other man.
And crashed headfirst into a mirror. “Shit!” he swore, reaching up to rub his head. That had fucking hurt. And he was bleeding. Which wouldn’t have been abnormal except that, twenty seconds later, his head still fucking hurt and he was still bleeding. “What the shit,” Naruto muttered, frowning into the mirror as he attempted to assess the strangely lingering injury. Only, it wasn’t his face that frowned back at him. It was Sasuke’s. “What the shit….” Naruto repeated, his, or rather Sasuke’s, eyes widening as realization dawned on him.
“Holy fuck,” he whispered. “I’m fucking Uchiha Sasuke.” He lifted a hand to trace his reflection in the mirror. “Fuck me, I’m motherfucking Uchiha Sasuke,” he repeated loudly.
“What is this, your morning pep talk?” a voice behind him asked. Naruto jumped, spinning around to find a red haired girl regarding him with obvious amusement. “Oh, hello,” he greeted her, blushing in embarrassment and offering her a lopsided grin. The girl looked surprised for a moment before raking a hand through her hair and batting her lashes seductively. “Hello to you, too,” she purred, her eyes focusing on his lips.
“Um,” Naruto gulped, suddenly nervous. “So, um, what are you doing today?” he asked quickly, taking a step back as her demeanor became increasingly predatory. The girl gave him a coy smile and reached forward to brush a strand of hair out of his eyes. “Whatever you want me to do, Sasuke-kun,” she whispered, leaning forward so that her breath was hot on his lips.
This must be Sasuke’s girlfriend, Naruto realized in a sudden flash of horror. Which meant she probably expected him to like, kiss her and…. stuff. Naruto felt nauseated. Maybe he could get away with just a quick good morning peck. Right. Naruto squeezed his eyes shut and puckered his lips-
- when Sasuke’s bedroom door slammed open. “Suigetsu!” the girl shrieked, jerking away from Naruto and spinning on the blue skinned boy that had just marched into the room.
Naruto sagged against the wall with poorly concealed relief.
“Get the fuck out of here!” the girl yelled, angrily lashing out at the new arrival, who was regarding Naruto with a disgusted expression. “Were you about to kiss Karin?” he asked, his forehead wrinkled in disbelief. Naruto stared at the boy, unsure of how to respond. Luckily, the girl jumped in before it became clear that Naruto had no idea how to react to the question.
“Maybe he was,” she snapped, glaring at Suigetsu. “Maybe he and I were about to share the most romantic moment of our lives and you just ruined it, you total ass!” she ended with a shriek. Suigestu ignored her, squinting at Naruto instead. “Sasuke, are you feeling okay?” he asked, looking deeply concerned. “Maybe you should lie down.”
“I’m fine,” Naruto said, trying his best to recreate Sasuke’s eternal scowl. “I just need to get some fresh air. Maybe, um, go out. For a walk.”
Suigetsu studied him for a brief moment before nodding. "Okay. But seriously, if you feel stra-"
"Suigetsu," Karin interrupted angrily. "He said he was fine. Why wouldn't he be fine?" Naruto managed to slip out of the room before he could be drawn into the inevitably heated argument. Breathing a sigh of relief as the door swung shut behind him, he sped down the long corridor. And ran headfirst into Kisame.
"Sasuke?" the shark man asked, looking surprised to see who he believed to be the younger Uchiha practically running down the hallway.
“Can't talk, have to go,” Naruto yelled, trying unsuccessfully to slip past the taller man. Kisame grabbed his arm and raised an eyebrow. “Go where?” he questioned.
“I, uh, I have to go… to go train to kill Itachi,” Naruto tried in his best monotone.
Kisame's grip on his arm loosened. "What?" he asked, his forehead wrinkling in confusion. "Are you waging war on his ghost now or something?"
“Itachi is dead?” Naruto blurted, coming to a sudden stop. Kisame stared at him. “Yes,” he answered slowly, frowning with confusion. “You….. were there….” Naruto felt his eyes widen. “Holy shit,” he breathed. “Did I kill him?” Kisame’s frown deepened. “You… um….” He stopped, clearly at a loss for words. “Seriously?”
“Kisame?” another voice asked from the stairway. Naruto turned to find a familiar masked figure regarding them intently. “Tobi,” he breathed, recognizing the Akatsuki Member. Tobi glanced at Kisame before shaking his head slightly. “Uchiha Madara,” he responded.
Naruto frowned. “No,” he corrected, pointing to himself before sticking out his hand as a greeting. “Sasuke.”
Tobi regarded the proffered hand disdainfully before looking up to glare at Naruto. “I know,” he said slowly.
“Oh,” Naruto smiled hesitantly, letting his arm drop. “You just said Uchiha Madara-“
“Yes,” Tobi interrupted him, clearly annoyed. “I did.”
Naruto knitted his eyebrows together. “But…. I’m Uchiha Sasuke…” he trailed off when Tobi continued to stare at him.
“Kisame,” Tobi finally said after a long silence. “What is happening.”
Kisame shrugged. “I don’t know, Itachi never mentioned….” He paused momentarily. “Mental problems.”
“Mental problems!” Naruto cried, slightly offended. “I’m not the one mixing up names here.”
“Did Itachi mention temper tantrums?” Tobi asked sardonically, ignoring Naruto’s outburst.
“Often,” Kisame affirmed. “We’re lucky he’s not crying.”
“Crying?” Naruto fought to keep the grin off his face. “Really? What else did Itachi say? Oh shit,” this time he couldn’t keep the glee out of his voice. “Did I ever wet the bed?”
Kisame and Tobi stared at him.
“Um,” Naruto quickly tried to recover. “You know, because then he was lying. If you think I wet the bed,” he continued, trying his best to channel Sasuke. “Then I’ll kill you.”
There was another moment of silence before Kisame let out a sad little noise and wiped at his eyes. “So much like his brother,” he said tearfully.
Tobi closed his eye, managing to look long-suffering despite the mask. “I’m going to get breakfast and pretend this morning never happened,” he stated. “Then Kisame and I will head for Konoha to capture the nine-tails.”
“Capture the nine-tails?” Naruto asked before he could stop himself. Tobi’s eye glared at him. “Yes, Sasuke,” he affirmed. “Capture the nine-tails. The plan hasn’t changed since the last eighteen billion times we discussed it. Stop concerning yourself with Uzumaki Naruto. You have your own mission.”
Concerning yourself with Uzumaki Naruto.
“Right,” Naruto nodded, trying to conceal his smile. “Sounds good.” Tobi stared at him strangely for a moment before reaching out and gently touching his arm in an almost intimate gesture. “Are you okay?” he asked.
Naruto stared at the hand that was softly resting on his arm and suddenly felt ill. "Are," he asked, almost afraid to hear the answer. "Are we.... together?"
“Oh,” Tobi said after a long moment, finally following Naruto’s gaze to where his hand was resting on Sasuke’s shoulder. “Oh, wow. I guess I should have seen this coming. I just assumed that with Orochi- you know what, never mind. It is my duty to talk about this with you. I am, after all, your only living relative.”
Living relative? “What are you talking about?” Naruto asked, curious.
Tobi took a deep breath. “Sex, Sasuke, I’m talking about sex. You see, sex is… well, it’s a lot more than just touching. Or,” Tobi stopped to consider. “It’s actually not more than just touching, it’s just,” he paused again.
“A special way of touching?” Kisame offered. “Yes!” Tobi exclaimed, patting Naruto on the shoulder warmly. “A special way of touching. You see, when a man wants to have a good ti-“
“No,” Naruto interrupted quickly. “No, I know what sex is.”
“Oh, good,” Tobi exhaled, relief evident in his voice. “Good. I was getting a little worried there. We Uchihas have a reputation to uphold, you know?" His eye winked at Naruto. "Now come on. Let's get out of these clothes and into the sauna where you can tell me all about how your sexcapades."
NEXT CHAPTER: SASUKE WAKES UP IN NARUTO'S BODY.
"Naruto," Kakashi sighed, then straightened and continued. “When I trained Sasuke, we sometimes talked about you. He told me that your smile stood as his only reminder that there was still beauty in this world.”
Sasuke felt his jaw drop.
“It’s true,” Kakashi continued wistfully. “He broke into tears when he told me. I held him while he sobbed.”
Sasuke gaped, speechless until he realized Kakashi was grinning under his mask.
"You know," he hissed. "You motherfucker, you know."
SASUKE AND NARUTO SWITCH BODIES, NARUTO MARVELS AT HOW MUCH HARDER SASUKE'S ABDOMINAL MUSCLES ARE AND REJOICES AT THE FACT THAT HE IS FINALLY IN AN ATTRACTIVE BODY!! No jk, but they do switch bodies. Chapter 1, PG. Sexygetsu and others make appearances. ;]
Naruto yawned loudly as he stretched, blinking into the sunlight that streamed through his open window. Rubbing at his eyes blearily, he forced his body out of bed and began to stumble towards the bathroom. Throwing a sleepy glance around the room, he stopped in his tracks at the sight that greeted him.
There, standing in the doorway and looking at him with an equally shocked expression, was none other than Uchiha Sasuke.
Naruto blinked several times, convinced he was still dreaming. And yet... three, four, five seconds passed and Sasuke was still standing in front of him.
“Sasuke?” Naruto finally whispered, his heart hammering in his chest. He took a tentative step forward at the same moment that Sasuke took a similarly hesitant step towards him. They both let out nervous laughs, exchanging sheepish grins. And just like that, the awkward tension disappeared. Abandoning all pretense of restraint, Naruto launched himself at the other man.
And crashed headfirst into a mirror. “Shit!” he swore, reaching up to rub his head. That had fucking hurt. And he was bleeding. Which wouldn’t have been abnormal except that, twenty seconds later, his head still fucking hurt and he was still bleeding. “What the shit,” Naruto muttered, frowning into the mirror as he attempted to assess the strangely lingering injury. Only, it wasn’t his face that frowned back at him. It was Sasuke’s. “What the shit….” Naruto repeated, his, or rather Sasuke’s, eyes widening as realization dawned on him.
“Holy fuck,” he whispered. “I’m fucking Uchiha Sasuke.” He lifted a hand to trace his reflection in the mirror. “Fuck me, I’m motherfucking Uchiha Sasuke,” he repeated loudly.
“What is this, your morning pep talk?” a voice behind him asked. Naruto jumped, spinning around to find a red haired girl regarding him with obvious amusement. “Oh, hello,” he greeted her, blushing in embarrassment and offering her a lopsided grin. The girl looked surprised for a moment before raking a hand through her hair and batting her lashes seductively. “Hello to you, too,” she purred, her eyes focusing on his lips.
“Um,” Naruto gulped, suddenly nervous. “So, um, what are you doing today?” he asked quickly, taking a step back as her demeanor became increasingly predatory. The girl gave him a coy smile and reached forward to brush a strand of hair out of his eyes. “Whatever you want me to do, Sasuke-kun,” she whispered, leaning forward so that her breath was hot on his lips.
This must be Sasuke’s girlfriend, Naruto realized in a sudden flash of horror. Which meant she probably expected him to like, kiss her and…. stuff. Naruto felt nauseated. Maybe he could get away with just a quick good morning peck. Right. Naruto squeezed his eyes shut and puckered his lips-
- when Sasuke’s bedroom door slammed open. “Suigetsu!” the girl shrieked, jerking away from Naruto and spinning on the blue skinned boy that had just marched into the room.
Naruto sagged against the wall with poorly concealed relief.
“Get the fuck out of here!” the girl yelled, angrily lashing out at the new arrival, who was regarding Naruto with a disgusted expression. “Were you about to kiss Karin?” he asked, his forehead wrinkled in disbelief. Naruto stared at the boy, unsure of how to respond. Luckily, the girl jumped in before it became clear that Naruto had no idea how to react to the question.
“Maybe he was,” she snapped, glaring at Suigetsu. “Maybe he and I were about to share the most romantic moment of our lives and you just ruined it, you total ass!” she ended with a shriek. Suigestu ignored her, squinting at Naruto instead. “Sasuke, are you feeling okay?” he asked, looking deeply concerned. “Maybe you should lie down.”
“I’m fine,” Naruto said, trying his best to recreate Sasuke’s eternal scowl. “I just need to get some fresh air. Maybe, um, go out. For a walk.”
Suigetsu studied him for a brief moment before nodding. "Okay. But seriously, if you feel stra-"
"Suigetsu," Karin interrupted angrily. "He said he was fine. Why wouldn't he be fine?" Naruto managed to slip out of the room before he could be drawn into the inevitably heated argument. Breathing a sigh of relief as the door swung shut behind him, he sped down the long corridor. And ran headfirst into Kisame.
"Sasuke?" the shark man asked, looking surprised to see who he believed to be the younger Uchiha practically running down the hallway.
“Can't talk, have to go,” Naruto yelled, trying unsuccessfully to slip past the taller man. Kisame grabbed his arm and raised an eyebrow. “Go where?” he questioned.
“I, uh, I have to go… to go train to kill Itachi,” Naruto tried in his best monotone.
Kisame's grip on his arm loosened. "What?" he asked, his forehead wrinkling in confusion. "Are you waging war on his ghost now or something?"
“Itachi is dead?” Naruto blurted, coming to a sudden stop. Kisame stared at him. “Yes,” he answered slowly, frowning with confusion. “You….. were there….” Naruto felt his eyes widen. “Holy shit,” he breathed. “Did I kill him?” Kisame’s frown deepened. “You… um….” He stopped, clearly at a loss for words. “Seriously?”
“Kisame?” another voice asked from the stairway. Naruto turned to find a familiar masked figure regarding them intently. “Tobi,” he breathed, recognizing the Akatsuki Member. Tobi glanced at Kisame before shaking his head slightly. “Uchiha Madara,” he responded.
Naruto frowned. “No,” he corrected, pointing to himself before sticking out his hand as a greeting. “Sasuke.”
Tobi regarded the proffered hand disdainfully before looking up to glare at Naruto. “I know,” he said slowly.
“Oh,” Naruto smiled hesitantly, letting his arm drop. “You just said Uchiha Madara-“
“Yes,” Tobi interrupted him, clearly annoyed. “I did.”
Naruto knitted his eyebrows together. “But…. I’m Uchiha Sasuke…” he trailed off when Tobi continued to stare at him.
“Kisame,” Tobi finally said after a long silence. “What is happening.”
Kisame shrugged. “I don’t know, Itachi never mentioned….” He paused momentarily. “Mental problems.”
“Mental problems!” Naruto cried, slightly offended. “I’m not the one mixing up names here.”
“Did Itachi mention temper tantrums?” Tobi asked sardonically, ignoring Naruto’s outburst.
“Often,” Kisame affirmed. “We’re lucky he’s not crying.”
“Crying?” Naruto fought to keep the grin off his face. “Really? What else did Itachi say? Oh shit,” this time he couldn’t keep the glee out of his voice. “Did I ever wet the bed?”
Kisame and Tobi stared at him.
“Um,” Naruto quickly tried to recover. “You know, because then he was lying. If you think I wet the bed,” he continued, trying his best to channel Sasuke. “Then I’ll kill you.”
There was another moment of silence before Kisame let out a sad little noise and wiped at his eyes. “So much like his brother,” he said tearfully.
Tobi closed his eye, managing to look long-suffering despite the mask. “I’m going to get breakfast and pretend this morning never happened,” he stated. “Then Kisame and I will head for Konoha to capture the nine-tails.”
“Capture the nine-tails?” Naruto asked before he could stop himself. Tobi’s eye glared at him. “Yes, Sasuke,” he affirmed. “Capture the nine-tails. The plan hasn’t changed since the last eighteen billion times we discussed it. Stop concerning yourself with Uzumaki Naruto. You have your own mission.”
Concerning yourself with Uzumaki Naruto.
“Right,” Naruto nodded, trying to conceal his smile. “Sounds good.” Tobi stared at him strangely for a moment before reaching out and gently touching his arm in an almost intimate gesture. “Are you okay?” he asked.
Naruto stared at the hand that was softly resting on his arm and suddenly felt ill. "Are," he asked, almost afraid to hear the answer. "Are we.... together?"
“Oh,” Tobi said after a long moment, finally following Naruto’s gaze to where his hand was resting on Sasuke’s shoulder. “Oh, wow. I guess I should have seen this coming. I just assumed that with Orochi- you know what, never mind. It is my duty to talk about this with you. I am, after all, your only living relative.”
Living relative? “What are you talking about?” Naruto asked, curious.
Tobi took a deep breath. “Sex, Sasuke, I’m talking about sex. You see, sex is… well, it’s a lot more than just touching. Or,” Tobi stopped to consider. “It’s actually not more than just touching, it’s just,” he paused again.
“A special way of touching?” Kisame offered. “Yes!” Tobi exclaimed, patting Naruto on the shoulder warmly. “A special way of touching. You see, when a man wants to have a good ti-“
“No,” Naruto interrupted quickly. “No, I know what sex is.”
“Oh, good,” Tobi exhaled, relief evident in his voice. “Good. I was getting a little worried there. We Uchihas have a reputation to uphold, you know?" His eye winked at Naruto. "Now come on. Let's get out of these clothes and into the sauna where you can tell me all about how your sexcapades."
NEXT CHAPTER: SASUKE WAKES UP IN NARUTO'S BODY.
"Naruto," Kakashi sighed, then straightened and continued. “When I trained Sasuke, we sometimes talked about you. He told me that your smile stood as his only reminder that there was still beauty in this world.”
Sasuke felt his jaw drop.
“It’s true,” Kakashi continued wistfully. “He broke into tears when he told me. I held him while he sobbed.”
Sasuke gaped, speechless until he realized Kakashi was grinning under his mask.
"You know," he hissed. "You motherfucker, you know."
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Date: 2008-08-23 02:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-23 02:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-23 03:06 am (UTC)<3
please write more more more
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Date: 2008-08-23 03:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-23 05:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-23 07:18 am (UTC)(Though, doesn't Naruto know that Itachi is dead? I thought he and his team were there when Zetsu reported it to Madara.)
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Date: 2008-08-23 07:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-23 07:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-23 07:46 am (UTC)i like.
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Date: 2008-08-23 09:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-23 04:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-23 07:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-24 03:42 am (UTC)please for the love of god more xD
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Date: 2008-08-24 04:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-25 01:38 am (UTC)i don't get why tobi suddenly started talking about sex??
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Date: 2008-08-27 01:29 pm (UTC)I laughed, I cried (from laughing).
Thank you.
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Date: 2008-09-02 05:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-23 04:44 pm (UTC)Thank you