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Feb. 7th, 2006 07:01 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
infinitefirefly.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
chuunin_archiveI had this idea written down on paper for MONTHS, and decided to write it up during my study break. XD Silly crack humour is ♥
Akatsuki drama:
Itachi and Oro-chan fall into a little disagreement over bubblegum.
Orochimaru wrinkled his nose slightly when Itachi walked by him, facial expression contorting into one of distaste.
“Is that watermelon, Itachi-kun?” Orochimaru said disbelievingly.
Itachi stopped, then slowly turned to look at him, blowing an enormous pink bubble in the process.
“That’s all he chews, Oro-chan,” Kisame snorted.
Orochimaru smirked defiantly.
“Grape is better.”
Itachi’s bubble popped and the room fell into a tense silence as two of Akatsuki’s most powerful members stared each other down.
“I like grape, yeah, but watermelon is pretty fantastic. Yeah…Kisame-kun likes seaweed flavour I bet, yeah? Hurhurhur…”
Needless to say it was Deidera whispering gleefully in the corner to the annoyed shark man.
“Deidera…”
Perky. “Yeah?”
“Just shut the hell up.”
Deflated. “…yeah.”
Both returned their attention to the Uchiha and Orochimaru.
Chewing slowly, Itachi maintained his expression of emotional vacancy as Orochimaru’s smirk grew wider.
“Do you disagree, Itachi-kun?”
“Yes,” the Uchiha replied blandly, and an audible gasp sounded from everyone in the room.
Orochimaru’s smirk faded a little, and then his pretty purple eye-shadowed eyes narrowed.
“Grape is better than watermelon.”
An obstinate pop.
“Nothing is better than watermelon.”
“Yes there is, and that would be grape,” Orochimaru hissed.
“Watermelon.
“Grape.”
“Watermelon.”
“GRAPE.”
“Watermelon.”
“GRAPE!”
Orochimaru’s pale skin was beginning to flush whereas Itachi’s expressionless face refused to waver.
Kisame flinched, knowing too well what would happen if Orochimaru lost this argument.
“Grape is better,” Orochimaru insisted, his voice unusually high-pitched.
Itachi may have noticed this, but of course didn’t bother to comment. He merely blew another bubble.
“So you admit it, then?” Orochimaru said, his voice still high-pitched.
“Grape isn’t worth arguing over,” Itachi replied coolly, and Orochimaru’s face turned bright red.
“You…you take that back!” he squeaked, tone choked.
Itachi stared at him, then spoke flatly.
“Grape tastes like hydrogenated whale fat.”
The room fell into a complete and utter silence.
Sasori blinked hazily from the corner, a small, creepy smile adorning his face as he broke the silence with a soft murmur.
“Oh, no, he didn’t...”
Orochimaru gaped at Itachi, eyes wide with shock, before he whimpered and tears suddenly spilled over his cheeks.
Sobbing hysterically, he covered his eyes with his forearm and ran out of the room, leaving an unmoved Itachi in his wake.
“Why’d you have to do that, Itachi?” Kisame sighed.
“Orochimaru-sama!” Kabuto ran after his master, but not before throwing a dirty look at the Uchiha.
Itachi merely reached into his pocket.
“Because,” he answered, placing a wrapped piece of Hubba Bubba in Kisame’s hand.
“Nothing is better than watermelon.”
**********
Note:...I would die if someone drew this. XD
Akatsuki drama:
Itachi and Oro-chan fall into a little disagreement over bubblegum.
Orochimaru wrinkled his nose slightly when Itachi walked by him, facial expression contorting into one of distaste.
“Is that watermelon, Itachi-kun?” Orochimaru said disbelievingly.
Itachi stopped, then slowly turned to look at him, blowing an enormous pink bubble in the process.
“That’s all he chews, Oro-chan,” Kisame snorted.
Orochimaru smirked defiantly.
“Grape is better.”
Itachi’s bubble popped and the room fell into a tense silence as two of Akatsuki’s most powerful members stared each other down.
“I like grape, yeah, but watermelon is pretty fantastic. Yeah…Kisame-kun likes seaweed flavour I bet, yeah? Hurhurhur…”
Needless to say it was Deidera whispering gleefully in the corner to the annoyed shark man.
“Deidera…”
Perky. “Yeah?”
“Just shut the hell up.”
Deflated. “…yeah.”
Both returned their attention to the Uchiha and Orochimaru.
Chewing slowly, Itachi maintained his expression of emotional vacancy as Orochimaru’s smirk grew wider.
“Do you disagree, Itachi-kun?”
“Yes,” the Uchiha replied blandly, and an audible gasp sounded from everyone in the room.
Orochimaru’s smirk faded a little, and then his pretty purple eye-shadowed eyes narrowed.
“Grape is better than watermelon.”
An obstinate pop.
“Nothing is better than watermelon.”
“Yes there is, and that would be grape,” Orochimaru hissed.
“Watermelon.
“Grape.”
“Watermelon.”
“GRAPE.”
“Watermelon.”
“GRAPE!”
Orochimaru’s pale skin was beginning to flush whereas Itachi’s expressionless face refused to waver.
Kisame flinched, knowing too well what would happen if Orochimaru lost this argument.
“Grape is better,” Orochimaru insisted, his voice unusually high-pitched.
Itachi may have noticed this, but of course didn’t bother to comment. He merely blew another bubble.
“So you admit it, then?” Orochimaru said, his voice still high-pitched.
“Grape isn’t worth arguing over,” Itachi replied coolly, and Orochimaru’s face turned bright red.
“You…you take that back!” he squeaked, tone choked.
Itachi stared at him, then spoke flatly.
“Grape tastes like hydrogenated whale fat.”
The room fell into a complete and utter silence.
Sasori blinked hazily from the corner, a small, creepy smile adorning his face as he broke the silence with a soft murmur.
“Oh, no, he didn’t...”
Orochimaru gaped at Itachi, eyes wide with shock, before he whimpered and tears suddenly spilled over his cheeks.
Sobbing hysterically, he covered his eyes with his forearm and ran out of the room, leaving an unmoved Itachi in his wake.
“Why’d you have to do that, Itachi?” Kisame sighed.
“Orochimaru-sama!” Kabuto ran after his master, but not before throwing a dirty look at the Uchiha.
Itachi merely reached into his pocket.
“Because,” he answered, placing a wrapped piece of Hubba Bubba in Kisame’s hand.
“Nothing is better than watermelon.”
**********
Note:...I would die if someone drew this. XD
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 03:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 05:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 03:25 am (UTC)Even if there isn't it's funny as hell. Thanks for the smile.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 04:06 am (UTC)Your efforts are commendable, but fruitless. XD For this is nothing but pointless crack.
...though yes, it would be a totally valid reason behind why Oro-chan left the Akatsuki. ^o^
Haha, glad you found it funny! Thanks and you're welcome~!
no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 03:26 am (UTC)~Gaiame-chan
no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 04:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 04:08 am (UTC)Glad you enjoyed it! Oh man, it's times like these I wish I had the ability to draw more than warped effigies of the characters. XD;
no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 03:37 am (UTC)still cracktastically hilarious tho! XD
no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 04:09 am (UTC)Thanks for the comment!
no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 03:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 03:56 am (UTC)~Gaiame-chan
(no subject)
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From:ohhh
From:no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 03:50 am (UTC)best line... EVER. things like this remind me at how unfunny i am and appriciate other people's hilarity even more. good job :D
no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 04:12 am (UTC)My sister said that line was too mean. XD But I'm glad you liked it! ^__^
Glad you liked it!
no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 04:03 am (UTC)Watermelon is better
no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 04:13 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 04:25 am (UTC)My favorrite line in this one... "Deflated!" What a word to describe Deidara! Good job on drawing Akatsuki members' interaction. :D
Itachi popping bubblegum would look immensely cool.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 04:34 am (UTC)I'm so glad you picked up on that! I was hoping someone would point that out. XD I really appreciate the comments, since this is my first time writing the Akatsuki bunch. ^o^
AND OMG YES, I would love to see him blowing a huge pink bubble and looking blank-faced at the same time. XD
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 05:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 05:19 am (UTC)OMG, you're willing to draw it?? *spazzes* That would be great! And take your time, of course. ^o^
Ahahaa...I own? *sheepish* Thank you! ♥ ♥ ♥
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 06:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 10:58 am (UTC)~Gaiame-chan
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 01:24 pm (UTC)and
That is what I plan on drawing! xDDD
BTW, wtf mate?! You are a friggen genius!!! I ♥ you! You should be immortal! Then your humor would reign SUPREME! I'm making this a memory! ♥ ♥ ♥
no subject
Date: 2006-02-09 02:08 am (UTC)And OMG you're willing to draw as well?? *dies of joy* Yay~!
Ahahaha, genius, me? *flattered and sheepish* You're liberal with your praise, and I can't complain because I LOVE it. Hehe. ^o^ Thanks!
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 08:14 pm (UTC)*enjoys turning Orochi into a wussy little girl*
no subject
Date: 2006-02-09 02:09 am (UTC)Thanx~!
(no subject)
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From:no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 08:34 pm (UTC)Itachi's watermelon beats grape any day pssht :P This would be hillarious drawn out. I'd draw it if I had any drawing skills -.-
no subject
Date: 2006-02-09 02:10 am (UTC)Glad you liked it!
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Date: 2006-02-08 08:43 pm (UTC)Must draw... Itachi with bubblegum bubble :3
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Date: 2006-02-09 02:13 am (UTC)Yay~! If you ever do draw it, I must see it! ♥
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Date: 2006-02-09 02:15 am (UTC)Hopefully, I shall have a visual depiction by the end of the week~ ^o^
AND OMG YOUR ICON IS SO CUTE. ♥
no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 11:20 pm (UTC)So much love for this hilarious Akatsuki crack XD there needs to be more of it out there in general. Especially picking on Orochimaru.. >] thank you very much!
no subject
Date: 2006-02-09 02:18 am (UTC)Hehe, glad you liked it! And OMG, people should post little cracky things like this all the time. ^o^ Perhaps we should suggest themes every week or so.
You're welcome~!
no subject
Date: 2006-02-09 01:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-09 02:20 am (UTC)Thanks!
no subject
Date: 2006-02-09 05:01 pm (UTC)Glad you liked it!
And OMG, I love your icon. XD *is a Bya girl herself, but loves pretty hard and Renji too*
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-02-11 05:46 am (UTC)(bows to Itachi)
no subject
Date: 2006-02-12 06:45 pm (UTC)