Chapter 301 crack

[brichibi.livejournal.com]

I was too lazy to make this into a fic or something, so...

This was totally the chapter of our lovely creator doing everything in his power to NOT show Sasuke!  We all know that grand moment won't happen until Naruto runs in screaming his beloved's *coughs* er... his friend's name.  And so, the crack begins!

Sai:  I am called Sai.  And you are Uchiha Sasuke.
Sasuke:  Get lost.
Orochimaru and Kabuto:  ...
Sai:  That's not very nice...
Orochimaru:  Psst, you have to talk about Naruto to get him to warm up to you  *whispers into Sai's ear*
Sai:  Oh?  *looks over at Sasuke*  Um... Naruto-kun has thought about you a lot.
Sasuke:  He... has?  *starts to step out of the shadows*
Sai:  Yep.  Sakura says that he thinks of you like a brother.
Kabuto:  Ouch.
Orochimaru:  Rejected.
Sasuke:  ... *goes back into the shadows before anyone can see him*  I Only have one brother, one I want to kill.
Sai:  Wait... he was starting to come out... what did I do wrong?
Orochimaru:  How would you feel if the boy you've been wanting for 301 chapters thought of you as a brother?
Sai:  ... oh... good point... ouch.

*outside the cave of doom*

Naruto:  Gonna get Sasuke back gonna get Sasuke back gonna get Sasuke back gonna get Sasuke back!
Yamato:  Wait!  Take these pills first.
Naruto:  Which one?  The red pill or the blue pill?
Yamato:  Well... the blue pill makes you forget all reality, the red one lets you remain in the matrix.  Or... was it the other way around?
Sakura:  Oh for heaven's sake, it's a manga chapter, everything is in black and white!
Naruto:  Oh yeah... *takes a pill*
Sakura:  *takes a pill too*
Yamato:  What color do you think they'll be in the anime? 
Sakura:  The pills?
Yamato:  Yes, so if anyone wants to cosplay me they can do it accurately.
Naruto:  ... who would want to cosplay you when there's 10 million Time Jump characters to do?
Yamato:  Hey!  I have fans!  It's not like I'm a filler character!
Sakura:  I've seen filler cosplay before...
Haku:  Um... hello?  What happened to going to get Sasuke back?
Sakura:  Why do you keep coming back?
Haku:  Because I still want closure damnit!
Naruto:  All right all right... 

*back inside the cave*

Sasuke:  So... you were in a hot springs with Naruto?
Sai:  Um... I-I wouldn't call it... that...
Sasuke:  You saw him naked?  *glares*
Sai:  No!  I wasn't even paying attention...
Kabuto:  Yes you were, you mentioned his penis enough times...
Sai:  *glares at Kabuto*
Kabuto:  *smiles sweetly*  I still don't like you, bitch.
Naruto:  *running in*  SASUKE! 
Haku:  Oi, that was pathetic!  It's been 301 chapters, make the scream count! 
Naruto:  Right right... *takes a deep breath*  SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASUKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Everyone:  *claps*

Sasuke:  *starts to come out of the shadows*  Naruto...
Sai:  Shouldn't we be fighting them or something?
Kabuto:  Oh yeah... fight fight fight.
Orochimaru:  Punch punch punch hiss.
Naruto:  Sasuke... *blinks*  why are you in the shadows?
Orochimaru:  He's been in there this whole time, he won't come out of the closet-er... shadows.
Kabuto:  Yeah, we don't even know what Time Jump Sasuke looks like since he's always over there sulking.
Naruto:  Sasuke, come out so I can see you.
Sasuke:  Why should I?
Naruto:  Because we're friends, we're like brothers.
Yamato:  Ouch.
Sakura:  Burn.
Haku:  Jesus christ I hate this series... *thwaps Naruto*  Don't say that!

Sasuke:  *shrinks into the shadows more* 
Orochimaru:  Oh... oh sweetie, he didn't mean that... please come back out.
Sasuke:  No  *pouts*
Naruto:  What did I say?  We are like brothers...
Sakura:  Naruto shut up!
Haku:  *sighs*  He wants to be MORE than your brother.
Naruto:  More?
Sai:  You know... penis.
Naruto:  Huh?
Sai:  Penis penis penis... that still doesn't work huh?
Haku:  Naruto... do you remember Zabuza-san?
Naruto:  Um... oh yeah!
Haku:  That's what he wants.
Naruto:  ACK!  He wants to try and stab me to get to Kakashi-sensei?
Haku:  *rolls his eyes*  NOT that part!  The last part in our episodes.
Naruto:  He wants to die with me?
Sasuke:  Now wait a second... I'm not dying with anyone, I'm still young.

Sakura:  Oh for heaven's sake, read a doujinshi sometime!
Haku:  Or a fic, god.
Naruto:  ... oh!  I get it now!  *walks over to the shadows*
Yamato:  Naruto?  Where are you going?
Naruto:  To put the shadows to good use  *grins and jumps into Sasuke's arms*
Sakura:  Wait!  Wait wait!  You were supposed to bring him out here not go in with him! 
Orochimaru:  Wait a minute... do you hear music?
Kabuto:  It sounds like... Tetris.
Sai:  My god... they're playing Tetris?!
Naruto:  I only read crack fics!  ACK!  Sasuke, get your hand off my ass!
Sasuke:  That's not my hand, it's a shadow.
Naruto:  Oh...
Haku:  Sweet mother of God I still hate this series...

Comments

[kylara.livejournal.com]

Orochimaru: How would you feel if the boy you've been wanting for 301 chapters thought of you as a brother?

LOL *wipes the tears from her eyes* That's great!

[brichibi.livejournal.com]

:)

Hey, that's what I thought when I read that part. Like, dear god man, are you still on this brothers crap? I don't know anyone who would turn into a giant four tailed fox for his brother...

[kataru.livejournal.com]

HAHA! LOL! sasuke, LOL. sure..... XD

[kuollutkana.livejournal.com]

Sakura: Wait! Wait wait! You were supposed to bring him out here not go in with him!
Orochimaru: Wait a minute... do you hear music?
Kabuto: It sounds like... Tetris.
Sai: My god... they're playing Tetris?!
Naruto: I only read crack fics! ACK! Sasuke, get your hand off my ass!
Sasuke: That's not my hand, it's a shadow.
Naruto: Oh...

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD *more laughing* YAY... Poor Haku :3 I love this x3

[brichibi.livejournal.com]

I don't think the poor boy will ever get closure... come on SasuNaru, do it for the pretty boy!

[ormery.livejournal.com]

*kersnerk*

[crystaltear.livejournal.com]

*dies laughing* Now that I have embarrassed myself in a public library by laughing outloud..XD

That was funny, thanks for the laugh.


*waves the sasunaru flag* These past couple of chapters have been brilliant for us.

[ovendoor.livejournal.com]

Sai: My god... they're playing Tetris?!

AHAHAHAH XD The mental images. OHHH THE HILARIOUS MENTAL IMAGES.

[tomato-uchiha.livejournal.com]

xD homg love! *adds to favorites*

this is so true.

[blakrose-eris.livejournal.com]

Oh, this great. You shoudl right filler episodes, they would be far mor enjoyable.

[brichibi.livejournal.com]

lolololol

Naruto episode 317: You're like a brother to me. Ow! Crash and Burn!

[atsuka-chan.livejournal.com]

XD I basically was laughing through the WHOLE thing... Poor Haku... He only wants the closure.... Poor Boy...

Orochimaru: Wait a minute... Do you hear music?
Kabuto: Sounds like... Tetris.
Sai: My God... they're playng Tetris!?
^^^ WINZ
*Mems this*

[brichibi.livejournal.com]

Some kid in my night class was playing Tetris so...

And yes, that will be the SasuNaru new slogan: Give Haku closure damnit! SasuNaru 4eva!

[kait1114.livejournal.com]

XDXDXDXDXD

OMG that was so wonderful lol

[farfallanera.livejournal.com]

Poor Haku XDDDDD This was hilarious. XD

[niwakaame.livejournal.com]

OOC!Haku, you are the best XD.

[brichibi.livejournal.com]

*giggles* Is he really OOC? I mean, if your death brought two characters closer together and now all the sudden they're apart, one trying to kill the other, the other willingly turning into a giant fox... wouldn't you be a bit upset?

[sevetenks.livejournal.com]

Haku: Sweet mother of God I still hate this series...

Overall. That was HILARIOUS. Haku just made it moreso. ... Say, would this be timejump!Haku or zombie!Haku? Or never aging spirit!Haku?

Even if I don't like NaruSasu and think Sasuke has a harem of hot sound girls, this was still hilarious.

[brichibi.livejournal.com]

oooooooooooooh, that's a good question. If I ever write more crack for the manga, I'd have to explain that. Timejump Haku would be gorgeous, zombie Haku would be green but still pretty... damnit, now I have to think it over!

[juliagulia1017.livejournal.com]

KYAAAAH~!! what the hairy heck... now every time i read something lemony the sounds of TETRIS will infiltrate my mind~!! doot doot doot deet doot...

*dead*

[brichibi.livejournal.com]

*falls over laughing* Congratulations, TETRIS is now code word for smex!

[juliagulia1017.livejournal.com]

how would one use this new phraseology?

'shino is teh tetris'? or 'i want to tetris shino up~!!' and when things get really hot and heavy, does the music get faster and more erratic?

.___.* i fear i will never get the hang of this...

[brichibi.livejournal.com]

Maybe something like, "I wanna play some tetris with you," in a low and sexy voice. Or, "Shino is the tetris master," or, "He's gotten to level 9," is the equivalent to, "He's gotten to third base." Or better! "He's gotten a rocketship!"

And when things get hot and heavy yes, the music will speed up, he he he he. God... I'm going to hell!

[juliagulia1017.livejournal.com]

how about, 'nice bar you've got there, shino... it looks like it'd make a perfect fit...' *grabs his crotch*

ho hum... i believe i'm going to hell, too... doot doot deet deet doot doot... can we play tetris in hell? prolly not, eh?

damn. now i REALLY want to play tetris... rummages through a box of junk in search of the relic gameboy...

[brichibi.livejournal.com]

*dies*

You win.

You win at life.

Doot doot deet deet doot doot...

[lunaneko.livejournal.com]

This was so awesome! LOL!

[lady-integral.livejournal.com]

very cool!

[goodbye--kitty.livejournal.com]

Kabuto: Yeah, we don't even know what Time Jump Sasuke looks like since he's always over there sulking.

:snickers: so true!! stupid pouty emo sasuke.

[heronite.livejournal.com]

Lol! LOL!!! The brother bits! It's hilarious! XD

And yes, Shadow Sasuke. Like closet Sasuke. Or pantsman. Whatever. He'll probably be staying around for a while. XD

[wingedrivers.livejournal.com]

That first part SO accurately described the beginning of 301. XD

[distainful-baka.livejournal.com]

♥ for you. xD

[asyona.livejournal.com]

You win!XD